The Best Revenge Being Success

I haven’t done a cliche of the day this year, yet. So today’s cliche is:

The Best Revenge Is Success

I like this one.very much & feel that there’s a lot of truth in it. Especially as a woman. There is so much bullshit that we have to put up with – all the revenge tropes I know are focused on women “Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned”, for example. It doesn’t match up to the realities that I’ve seen. I’ve never taken revenge on an ex, for example. But a few have taken revenge on me. 

I see bitterness, anger & vengeance as more ‘male’ (not really, but in terms of conditioning) traits. I see revenge by way of success, as something that I’ve seen more women do, than men. Revenge by way of success, is surely the sweetest of all? Showing that in spite  of whatever it is that has upset you, you can do well is a very satisfying thing.

 

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On familiarity breeding contempt

So, today’s cliche is ‘Familiarity breeds contempt’. There’s probably some truth to this, but it’s besides the point, I think.

For me, it’s not so much familiarity that breeds contempt, but over-familiarity. I don’t know if this is something that women are subject to, more than men, but it’s something I find VERY IRRITATING.

If I don’t know you, don’t call me babe/darling/sexy/beautiful/whatever, just don’t call me anything, you don’t know me & I’m not here for your gratification & to be reduced to some silly overfamiliar word, stop it.

Sometimes it happens so often, it feels like it borders on harrassment. I don’t see guys referring to each other in such cushty terms, so why is it so ok, for women to be spoken to like that & reduced to words like that.

And while I’m here, I wish the word women, rather than girls were used when talking about us grown up women. I’m sure it does something to the architecture of the mind in those that do it, and contributes to this constant infantilising & objectification that many of us are subject to. So, stop that now!

Give them an inch and they’ll take a mile…

Today’s cliche of the day is brought to you courtesy of a soon-to-be former friend of mine who took the piss out of my hospitality when they asked to stay for a few days.

I’m not usually a stickler for etiquette, but in this case, this person really pushed the boundaries of my acceptance. I will spare you all of the boring details, but one tiny thing still really grates (it’s the little things that matter, sometimes).

If you’re going to stay with someone, don’t finish their coffee & milk in the middle of the night so the person who you are staying with CAN’T HAVE THEIR FUCKING MORNING COFFEE!

Meh.

If it looks too good to be true…

Today’s cliche of the day is “If it looks too good to be true, it probably is”.  

Am feeling a little more cynical than usual today & a little disappointed that my recent adventures have been a little more short-lived than I would have preferred, so this one is resonating with me at the moment. I think if I was getting what I want, I’d be more disinclined to this cliche. I can be a little fickle, sometimes.

Meh

Todays cliche of the day – Once bitten twice shy.

Once bitten twice shy? Well you’d think so, wouldn’t you?

Having read my last post, you wouldn’t have thought that I’d make the same mistake twice. Yet alone with the same person!

Shouldn’t have slept with him again, really. Have always felt strongly that no sex is infinitely preferable to bad sex and I’ve proved myself twice right.

He stopped halfway through to ask if I was bored (I was, but I’d never be cruel enough to say so). He’s lovely, but there’s an absence of excitement and chemistry & that was reflected by my… unenthusiasm. Poor thing, it isn’t his fault.

Worst thing is I think he’s started to get attached. He’s using “we”, he’s started to talk about stuff he wants to do next month with me, even though I said at the start I was non-committing. He did that gazing at me with big eyes thing first thing in the morning, saying “you’re so lovely”. It’s freaking me out a little!

Ah, I’m a numbnut sometimes. I hope this post acts as an aid memoire, and I don’t find myself posting about twice bitten, thrice shy.

Today’s cliche… Feel The Fear And Do It, Anyway

I like this one.

My friends think am quite a brave/bolshy character. I’m thought of as strong-willed and strong-minded. What they don’t know is that, whilst I might be, I’m crapping myself half the time.

Fear is a wonderful and terrible thing. It’s totally okay to be fearful, to acknowledge it, but the best way to deal with it sometimes is just to press on in spite of it.

So, tonight am going to go to a poly/kink club event thing that I heard about from someone I went on a date with. Now, this whole world is a terrifying and unknown place for me. My life so far (especially with regards to sex & sexuality) has on the whole, tasted mainly of vanilla.

I can be fairly cautious with the unknown, but now that I know what I’m curious in, it’s probably time to jump in at the deep end, instead of just sitting on the fence (mixing my metaphors a little, but you know what I mean).

So, this evening, I will be putting one wobbly foot in front of the other, feeling the fear and doing it, anyway. (Or observing & learning, in any case).

Brave New Worlds

(also, what the hell do I wear?)

Two cliches of the day, today… Patience is a virtue.

Patience is a virtue… 

Really? Is it? I don’t think so!

No No No! It’s not that much of a virtue, more of a vice. A vice that allows things that shouldn’t happen to carry on happening. A vice that stops things happening which should. Occasionally, patience is called for, by why wait for good things? Why not be impatience? What’s wrong with impatience and being keen on things in life.

Let’s just say that patience is over-rated as a virtue and under-rated as a vice.

Careful what you wish for.

Today’s cliche is “Careful what you wish for”.

I feel mixed about this one. A couple of friends have said this to me since I told them of my ideas about poly relationships.

Is it about stopping people having dreams and plans outside of the norm? Is it fear of doing ‘other’? Or, just good advice?

Not sure. There’s something a little defensive about it, I think.

On the grass being greener on the other side.

Today’s cliche is “The grass is always greener on the other side of the fence”.

I don’t like this one, although there may be some sense in it. I think it’s a way for people to subtly quieten your dreams and stop you complaining when things are not right.

“Oh, things always seem better, but they aren’t, really, it’s just you” is what this particular cliche reads between the lines.

BUT, the grass often IS greener on the other side. And isn’t it up to us to decide what we want and what is right for us?

Life is like a box of cliches…

I have a bit of a thing for cliches. Find them fascinating as a thing.

“Life is like a box of cliches” I often say when I’m drunk. “And you never know which one you’re going to get next” reply my friends, as they roll their eyes at me in one of our weekly drunken ritual conversations.

My cliche of the day is Never Judge A Book By It’s Cover.

I think as a species we’re hardwired to make assumptions and judgements about each other, but I also think we’re hardwired to forget that most of our judgements are just assumptions. We need these assumptions to get by in life, but in forgetting that we don’t know what we think we do, I think it’s easy to miss out on so much – especially in our interactions with each other.